Who’s It Gonna Be? Speculation Sweepstakes With Runners and Riders. Beginners Guide To Next Home Match

Celtic play Sevco FC on Sunday for the third time this season. Whilst for us it is just another home game for the mainstream media it is an opportunity to salivate over the fixture and to endeavour to portray it as a continuation of the former rivalry between Celtic and the former Rangers Football Club ( more of which later).

I have been living in Australia for some twelve years now but I have decided to have a light hearted look at what I think will happen in the build up to this game over the next few days. Unless things have changed markedly in the time I have been in Australia we can expect some, or all, of the following to occur.

Firstly “Operation Destabilisation”- this usually involves speculation about a prominent Celtic player or figure and their unhappiness at the club or their yearning for a move away from Celtic Park. Here is my top six for this weekend.

Coming in at number one…Moussa Dembele. We can expect something like this.

The French hit kid is desperate for the season in Scotland to end so he can fulfil his long term goal of playing in the EPL. The 20 year old has always made it clear that he views his time in Scotland as a short term stepping stone to the millionaire’s playground in England. Dembele has been linked with a number of clubs and has told close friends that this time next year he will be wearing an Arsenal/ Man City/ Man United/ Liverpool/ Chelsea shirt.

Odds on this story 11/8

Hot on the heels at number two…Scotty Sinclair. His story could read like this.

Scotty Sinclair could be on the brink of quitting Celtic for a sensational return to the EPL. The classy Hoops winger has never hidden his determination to play for England and feels that the only way to catch England manager Gareth Southgate’s eye is to return South. Sinclair, 26, has seen his career revitalised since his move to Scotland but has accepted that he needs to be playing in the EPL to reignite his International dreams. It is understood a number of clubs are monitoring his situation. Alternatively the focus could be on Scotty’s partner, Helen Flanagan and her need to be where the acting work is in England.

Odds on either of these two stories 15/8

In third place we could have…Scott Brown. Here is his story.

Celtic skipper Scott Brown is on the verge of a sensational/ surprise return to boyhood favourites Hibernian. The Celtic skipper has never hid his love for his Easter Road favourites and is poised to rejoin the Championship pace setters at the end of this season. Brown the Scotland captain, has been in career best form for Celtic this year but could be set to be reunited with former boss Neil Lennon in the capital as he fears for his spot in the Celtic team following the arrival of Kouassi Eboue.

Odds on this story 6/1

Coming up hard on the rails just behind the top three is ….Leigh Griffiths. Leigh’s story might read like this.

Stories are coming out of Celtic Park that Leigh Griffiths is poised to quit the Scottish champions. Griffiths who scored forty goals last season is frustrated at not securing a regular starting spot and is ready to turn his back on Brendan Rodgers. The prolific striker feels that he could play alongside French striker Moussa Dembele ( who is poised to leave the Hoops this Summer) but has been frozen out through injury. Griffiths is now prepared to quit the club despite missing a large part of the season through injury and noting that Dembele ( who will be away this Summer) has scored over thirty goals and is rapidly closing in on forty for the season.

Odds on this story are 7/1…wait some late money has brought this into 7/2

Trailing in last is ….KT

Celtic left back Kieran Tierney could be set for a bumper transfer to Bayern Munich as the Bundesliga giants seek to replace Philip Lahm. The 19 year old Celtic fanatic is set to be sold, against his wishes, to the European titans who pumped Arsenal 10-2 on aggregate in the Champions League. Bayern are lining up a 15M Euros move for the highly rated KT.

Odds on this story 8/1

So that is my top five but they could all be usurped by this one…

Brendan Rodgers is in the frame for the Arsenal job. Despite Massimo Allegri being a hot favourite to take over at Emirates Stadium when Arsene Wenger moves on the Celtic boss has been strongly linked with a move to the Gunners. Rodgers who loved his time living in London is understood to be very interested in a return to the capital and a high profile job working with Arsenal….

Odds 14/1

The speculation will seek to make Celtic fans restless and unsettled and will usually be without any quotes or indeed any foundation. There will of course be speculation for Sevco fans but this will focus on players/ coaches/ managers/ Directors of Football/ investors coming to Ibrox. There will likely be no letting the truth spoil a good story in some instances with the reality of a cash strapped club embroiled in a number of Court matters being ignored.

For any disbelieving newcomers out there who are not completely flabbergasted yet let me add a little more.

Operation Credibility by Association.

Expect to hear three words a lot over the next few days. These words are “the Old Firm”. Now the term Old Firm became redundant in 2012 when the former club who played out of Ibrox Park went into liquidation. However note how much it will be used in the next few days. By using this term Sevco fans and the mainstream media will attempt to furnish their team with some credibility by association. Former players will be rolled out using the term Old Firm with an embarrassing frequency.

Ultimately this attempt of credibility by association is laughable and deserves to be treated with contempt. Don’t get me wrong, a team playing out of Ibrox WILL beat us in the league or a cup at some point and may even win credible trophies if they can stick around long enough, but the desperate attempts to put them on the same footing as us is a joke and should be laughed out of Court ( sorry Sevco fans, pun intended).

So there you have it. My newcomers guide to this week’s game. Have I missed anything? Maybe there will be a thinly veiled threat at our support with the police issuing a statement condemning all fans wearing green and white. Who knows?